I didn’t cry. I got teary putting him in his car seat, and when showing coworkers pictures. But I did not cry. I think I sobbed all the tears out last night. Luke did great at daycare, no problems with bottles. Yes that makes me mad. I wanted him to cry, to refuse bottles. MISS ME DAMMIT! I realize that’s irrational and I don’t care. As soon as I got him home, I nursed him. All was right in my world after that.
Pumping at work was…awkward. Sitting in the back of my mail truck while attached to a breast pump just wasn’t the way I wanted to spend my day. Plus it’s hot back there! But it’s better than formula. I have found that drinking a lot of water before starting, and leaning forward is really helpful. I’m sure with time the awkwardness will fade away.
So we made it through our first day drama free. There’s still the rest of the week for things to fall apart. Me in particular. It just doesn’t feel right, not being with my newborn. One day at a time, I know I’ll get through this. I’ll just have to squeeze Luke a little tighter. And refuse to share him with daddy!
Things are starting to look up for my garden. Some of the tomato seeds have sprouted!
Isn’t it cute? There’s three more sprouts, still waiting on four. We’re growing 12 varieties because we are crazy. The broccoli is looking delicious.
Some of the cucumbers, pumpkins and one green bean have sprouted. I’m still angry the original plants died. We could’ve already been harvesting! But that’s ok, we’ll get over it. Oh, and I have lettuce sprouts, too!
Why are there so many weeds? 1. I’ve never grown lettuce before, so I don’t know what the sprouts look like. 2. We don’t use pesticides. All weeds are pulled by hand. My garden is massive, and it’s really hard to keep up with the pests. Especially now that I have a newborn. We are a real food family. We try our hardest to stay away from GMOs and chemicals. Plants absorb that crap, and then you eat it. Go read the bottles of fertilizers/pesticides. That’s what you’re eating!
Ok, I’m off my soap box. This has been a great week so far. I’ve been waging war on the weeds, G started her swim lessons, and she made some new friends. I creamed Grace in UNO yesterday. She still secretly thinks I cheated. No, I did not. For the past two nights, Luke has slept for five straight hours. Heaven. If you’re wondering, those five hours feel like heaven. I’m still exhausted, just not as much as usual.
I’m hoping to take a much needed nap soon. I will probably be dreaming of all the delicious meals I’ll soon be making with veggies I grew myself…
Guess who baked muffins today? I did! And it was hectic. Little man started fussing the moment I started measuring ingredients. Into the bouncer with a pacifier he went. For the next 20 minutes or so I was running back and forth between him and the batter. I also got bread dough started. This is far and away my favorite blueberry muffin recipe. It’s light and fluffy and wonderfully lemony. The only change I make is to sprinkle a heavy layer of cinnamon and sugar on top. There’s always a fight for the last one.
Little man is such a sweet baby. He loves, loves, loves being snuggled. He’s a pretty decent sleeper, and he’s finally starting to get nursing down. Luke started off nursing for 40-60 minutes every hour and a half! Can you believe that?! Now we’re down to 20-30 minutes every 2-3 hours. Much better. He’s put on quite a bit of weight this last week. Little man is still wearing newborn sized clothing, but I don’t think that’ll last much longer!
As for me, every day is a little bit better. My feet are still a little swollen, but I can walk around with minimal discomfort! I’ve started doing a post-natal yoga sequence in the mornings. No surprise, it’s pretty painful! It’ll be quite a long time before I’ve fully recovered from this pregnancy. I have to keep reminding myself about that. I have been on bed rest and restrictions of some sort since December. My muscles and my stamina are long gone. I won’t get them back overnight. One step at a time, I will win this battle.
Other than that, life is pretty quiet around here. Grace is excited for summer. She’s going to be taking swim lessons and growing a flower fort. We are getting the garden ready this weekend. Can’t wait for fresh veggies! If you’ll excuse me, those muffins are calling my name…
Wednesday May 15th, I got the call. Preeclampsia, get thee to the hospital. They started the inducing meds at 10 pm and I gave birth on May 16th at 11:08 am with only 10 minutes of pushing. Being induced is highly unpleasant. I went from relaxed to screaming, “I NEED TO PUSH!!!” in about five minutes. The pain was so much more intense, I completely panicked. Sadly, I was on the verge of hyperventilating and threw up during labor.
It was so worth it. Lucas is absolutely perfect. 7 lbs 2 oz with a full head of hair. We had to stay the full two days due to my preeclampsia. My blood pressure was high, and they struggled to get it under control. I will be on medication for the next month. But the swelling is finally going down.
The doctor says it will take at least two weeks before its completely gone. Most of my pain and discomfort is gone. My skin is incredibly sensitive, but that’s not really a surprise. I was so dang swollen!
We are all settling in nicely. Grace loves holding her little brother, and he loves being held. I sleep better now than when I was pregnant. Chris is so overjoyed, I’m afraid he’ll burst. He is such an amazing father. I feel so blessed to have this beautiful family. So lucky. I’m actually pretty sad this will be our last child. I would love two more. But I know I could never go through another pregnancy like this. So I will be content with what I have. My little family is complete. And everyone is happy. What more could I really ask for?