I didn’t cry. I got teary putting him in his car seat, and when showing coworkers pictures. But I did not cry. I think I sobbed all the tears out last night. Luke did great at daycare, no problems with bottles. Yes that makes me mad. I wanted him to cry, to refuse bottles. MISS ME DAMMIT! I realize that’s irrational and I don’t care. As soon as I got him home, I nursed him. All was right in my world after that.
Pumping at work was…awkward. Sitting in the back of my mail truck while attached to a breast pump just wasn’t the way I wanted to spend my day. Plus it’s hot back there! But it’s better than formula. I have found that drinking a lot of water before starting, and leaning forward is really helpful. I’m sure with time the awkwardness will fade away.
So we made it through our first day drama free. There’s still the rest of the week for things to fall apart. Me in particular. It just doesn’t feel right, not being with my newborn. One day at a time, I know I’ll get through this. I’ll just have to squeeze Luke a little tighter. And refuse to share him with daddy!